“It festers in the dark beyond comprehension, a bloated mass of writhing textures and malignant purpose. Its eyes, slick and unblinking, glisten with a knowing hunger—patient, ancient, and terribly aware. Beneath layers of bruised and glimmering flesh, its mouth yawns with rows of rotted teeth, as if grinning at some cosmic joke no man should ever hear. It does not move, yet it watches; it does not speak, yet it waits”.

“Uhhhh huh huh. Whoa! Beavis, these things look. like, us… but from a dimension where everything sucks even more. It’s got our faces, but with, like, a hundred zits and schlongs or something. Heh heh. Heh… it’s like if I had tentacles and ate people instead being kickass and eating nachos. I think I’d still be kickass, though. Uhhhh… Behold the mighty Butt-thulhu!”

“It was a colossal and nameless blasphemy with glaring red eyes, and it held in bony claws a thing that had been a man, gnawing at the head as a child nibbles at a stick of candy. It’s position was a kind of crouch, and as one looked one felt that at any moment it might drop its present prey and seek a juicier morsel.”